trusting the good

So, friendships are fascinating. Through my “dream coaching” I have come to find that I am friends with and help almost everyone I come across however, I trust almost no one. My reasoning may not make sense to some but it apparently does to me or I wouldn’t think that way.

I have become a very panicky person that is worried about the outcome of everything regardless of how I’m involved. I have realized that more and more over the last few years, I worry more and more that I’ve screwed something up.

This got me thinking…

why do we worry so much about changing relationships or assume the worst?

I think it’s something we all do. Worry that is. We worry about our friends, our family, the next presentation we have to give, the thought of having to travel for work, or simply about what’s going to happen tomorrow or what happened yesterday.

Over the past few years I’ve started to lose my mojo. I’ve begun to doubt the good things that happen. The silly thing is I doubt the good things in my head but on the outside I radiate positive feelings and always try to show people the silver lining because I know it’s important regardless of the worry inside. I know that makes me a hypocrite to myself and others but it’s an odd dichotomy in my head that has happened.

Not in a negative/poor me kind of way but I have gotten accustomed to “the other shoe falling” that when it doesn’t, I find I’m still waiting for it. So I end up struggling with finding the silver lining or enjoying the sunny days on my own because nobody knows that what comes out of my mouth, is not truly what I believe but it’s what I want to believe.

In dissecting my own brain and intentions I have come to a reasonable deduction (I think) that the reason I worry so much about losing favor is that it took over a decade for me to truly trust someone.. if I lose “my person”, will I have to start over?

These are not the words of someone who is super depressed, but someone who is always anxious.

So.. my words to live by for both myself and others..

trust the good in life. without that, what a pointless existence

Here’s to worrying less and truly believing what comes out of my mouth!

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