To be a mother is a blessing for most that many will not have the opportunity to experience.
I’m a career driven, passionate woman and my goal is to financially put my family in a spot where they don’t have to consistently struggle for the basics of life. However, at the core of my heart I was meant to be a mother. To care for someone with all of my being and help them navigate the struggles of life the best I can is truly what I was meant to do.
I think people forget how tough being a parent but in this case a mom can be.
I don’t mean this in the way that Oprah says “being a mom is the toughest job on the planet”.
I mean it in the sense that it’s always a juggling act.
My mother decided to have a lot of children. So many so that she is always caught between being best friends with my siblings and being a parent. She didn’t work for our entire childhood which meant that every moment of her life was devoted to raising us and giving us the best chance at a good life. Yes, life was hard in the 80’s and 90’s and even now with such a large family and money was quite often lacking however, she sacrificed everything to provide the love and support we needed to get through the rough times.
I am in a position now where I am now a lot of times the “go to” for my family. Being the middle child kind of slots you into the “peacemaker/confidant” role within a family. My younger siblings have grown up to the age where they are opinionated about parenting and feel they know what is “right” or “wrong” parenting and “they would do it so much better”. If you knew my mother you would know that her heart bleeds for everyone. She has such a passion to do the right thing and lives a life of conviction but being so devoted to family comes at a price that she was so willing to pay.
Her relationships are almost nothing but with one sided people that need her love and support which leaves her without a shoulder to lean on. She has a hole in her heart that isn’t filled with companionship that everyone needs to get through. She’s left with bottling things up, being hurt, being disappointed, and not having anyone to talk her through it or listen when she has a bad day.
Why tell you all of this?
Being a mom is hard… you frequently are presented a choice of being your own person, hiring a nanny and focusing on your own life while being a mom after 5 or being a mom full time and putting what you want on hold sometimes indefinitely.
What children forget sometimes is that parent’s aren’t supposed to be perfect.. and they won’t be because they are human, we’re human. What they are supposed to do is try. Try to be a good parent, try to raise their children well, try to be a good example.. they just need to try.
It’s just tough. So, regardless of where you stand with your mother, call her up and tell her you love her. Parents do the best they can to raise their children and set a good example. Some weren’t meant to be parents and maybe weren’t a good example for you or didn’t treat you well, but you still learned from them. You still learned what not to do, how to be a better person and a better parent if you decide to have children.
So, give your mom a break. She may seem a little crazy at times but chances are, in raising you as a child, she has a reason to be a little nutty.